Saturday Night

I'm so awake in the narcissistic Ponty night air. Girls are shouting "fuck off" and yelps from blokes, taxis and boys (possibly girls?) in those low-grounded noisy exhaust cars ride up and down the Broadway. A Broadway far, far from Hollywood. Occasionally, the night air shifts to a sound I remember from 'Indecent Proposal' when Robert Redford and the blind guy are listening to sounds to remind him where his journey had taken him slightly unconscious in the boot of the car. The bells just went and it's three a.m. Why am I awake? T awoke screaming. It took me half an hour to calm and comfort him - to tell him it was a dream - a nightmare. It was full on. I realised I had fallen asleep - again last night, fully clothed and shoes on! This is about the fourth night of unsettled sleep. I will go into detail more so later om.. But when I fall asleep like that, it means I forget to take my tablets which if I exceed the 24 hour dose (I try to take them at the same time each night) I wake tremendously paranoid. Well not so paranoid, more feelings of being hated, unloved and full of worry. So this is at 02:30! It used to be me crawling in at stupid o' clock, oh how my life has changed!